Een derde kind

Ik heb twee prachtige lemmings. Twee meisjes waarvoor ik alles denkbaar zou doen om ze maar gelukkig te zien.

Toch krijg ik wel eens de vraag “Je hebt nu Meneer, wil hij geen kinderen? Zou je nog voor een derde kind gaan?”

Dit vind een lastige vraag.  Je hebt van die vrouwen die 5 kinderen tussen het fietsen op de dijk eruit gooien zonder een greintje effort en je hebt vrouwen die er gewoon niet zo goed in zijn. Die het moeite kost en ik behoor tot de tweede groep.

Ik ben niet goed in baren. Bij de eerste ging het bijna mis en was ik haar bijna kwijt, bij de tweede was het een keizersnede met daar een IC bezoek omdat mijn bloeddruk niet meer omhoog ging.

Je kunt begrijpen dat dit een stempel op mijn idee over baren heeft gezet. Ik heb twee prachtige gezonde dochters dus waarom zou ik het risico nemen voor een derde? Als het mis gaat ben ik of een kindje kwijt of mijn dochters missen hun moeder.

Zo bleef ik er eigenlijk vrij strikt in staan, na de geboorte van nummer 2. Ik ben klaar.

Ik heb twee dochters, ben nog jong en omdat ik jong in de kinderen zit ben ik er ook vlot uit. Je hebt straks diverse carrière tijgers die in de 40 zijn en met baby’s lopen en je hebt straks een Linda die op dat moment kinderen van 18 heeft en zelf een carrière kan opbouwen.

Daarnaast moet je tegenwoordig twee verdiener zijn voor een leuk huis en ik wil gewoon geen baby in de kinderopvang doen als het niet echt moet. Ik wil voor een kind kunnen zorgen in de beginstadia van hun tere leventje. Daarin ben ik misschien wat ouderwets, maar daar voel ik mij het beste bij.

Ook wil ik het liefste geen kinderen na mijn 36ste levensjaar. De risico’s gaan omhoog voor moeder en kind en juist omdat ik dan ook nog eens niet goed kan baren vind ik dat eng. Een kindje met een beperking vind ik lief maar daar zou ik niet voor kiezen in verband met de impact op mijn andere dochters.

En toen kwam Meneer. Meneer heeft geen kinderen en gaat op een fantastische manier met de meisjes om. Een echte bij-papa. Zelf zou hij heus nog wel een kindje erbij willen. Dit is een gesprek wat wij vroeg gevoerd hebben.

Ik vond het belangrijk dat hij mijn standpunt hierin wist. Want stel je voor dat hij ten koste van alles een kindje wil weet ik niet of ik hem dit kan geven. Liever dat we dat uit de weg hebben dan dat we na een paar jaar met veel verdriet uit elkaar gaan op dit specifieke punt.

Hij heeft wel aangegeven dat als ik het echt niet kan of wil hij daar vrede mee zou hebben. Er zijn immers al twee prachtige kinderen, en adopteren zou altijd nog een optie kunnen zijn. Er zijn meerdere wegen die naar Rome leiden.

Nu snap ik dat dit voor sommige dames in de 20 dat een raar gesprek kan zijn in het begin van een relatie. Je ziet wel hoe het loopt toch? Ja, dat ben ik met je eens. Alleen ik heb al twee kinderen en op dat moment was ik 29 en hij 34. Dan is kinderen ineens wel een bespreekbaar onderwerp geworden. Je moet beide standpunten doornemen om te kijken of de relatie daarop niet kapot kan lopen. Iets waar je vroeger nooit aan zou denken, wordt nu “normaal”

Alleen zijn er dingen veranderd in mijn hoofd en lichaam.

Als eerste heb ik ineens last van mijn eierstokken sinds een half jaar. Als ik een baby zie of ruik laat mijn baarmoeder ineens duidelijk weten dat het wel enorm leuk is. Ik krijg er bijna buikpijn van. Dit voelt ergens als hoofdverraad. Die vrouw die zeker wist dat ze geen kindje meer wil heeft een lichaam die roept: “EEN BABY!” “LEUK” “WHOOPWHOOP” “Kijk eens naar die kleine vingertjes, het neusje, en die voetjes dan!” “LETS DO THIS”

Bij deze:

‘Lieve Baarmoeder,
doe mij een plezier. Kap hiermee. Ik wil graag op kraambezoek kunnen zonder dat ik meteen het gevoel krijg dat voortplanting nodig is voor het menselijk ras. Dat ik mij diezelfde avond moeten laten bevruchten omdat het neusje zo schattig is. De geur van Zwitsal is gewoon prima, niet een afrodisiacum. Alles komt goed, mijn voortplantingsplicht (bestaat zoiets?) zit erop. You did your job. Relax’

Daarnaast moet ik eerlijk zijn en vind ik kinderen gewoon enorm leuk. Er is een reden waarom ik ooit de pedagogiek ingegaan ben. Een groot warm gezin heb ik altijd gewild. Een grote keukentafel met kibbelende snoetjes, huiswerk maken, spelletjes spelen. Ondanks dat de twee lemmings soms veeleisend zijn zouden ze het prachtig vinden om er een broertje of zusje erbij te krijgen. Daarin zijn het misschien echte meisjes.

De olifant in de kamer is Meneer. Ik houd van hem. Ik betrap mijzelf er soms op hoe leuk het zou zijn om met Meneer een klein Meneertje op de wereld te zetten. Laten we eerlijk zijn meisjes zijn baas maar een jongetje heb ik nog niet. Nu kan je daar niet voor kiezen maar je kunt altijd een poging wagen.

Dus zou ik nog een derde kindje willen?

Als we de zin anders formuleren dan is het Ja, ik zou best nog een derde kindje erbij verwelkomen. Ik weet alleen niet of ik een derde kindje wil baren. Ik weet het gewoon nog niet. Waar ik eerst dus uitgebreid “NOPE”  riep, twijfel ik tegenwoordig.

Noem het leeftijd, noem het liefde, noem het wat je wilt.
We gaan zien wat de toekomst brengt.

 

 

 

 

0

119 gedachten over “Een derde kind”

  1. Right here is the perfect web site for anybody who wants to find out about
    this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not
    that I actually would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a brand new spin on a subject that’s
    been discussed for many years. Great stuff, just excellent!

  2. You’ve made some really good points there. I checked on the internet to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.
    ps4 games 185413490784 ps4 games

  3. Hey there would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with?
    I’m going to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having
    a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and
    I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to
    ask! games ps4 allenferguson games ps4

  4. It’s in point of fact a nice and helpful piece of info. I’m glad that you shared this helpful
    information with us. Please stay us informed like
    this. Thank you for sharing.

  5. I think the admin of this web page is actually working hard in support of
    his web site, because here every stuff is quality
    based information.

  6. Hey, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks fine but
    when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, terrific blog!

  7. Having read this I thought it was really informative.

    I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this informative article together.
    I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of
    time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  8. After looking over a number of the articles on your web page, I honestly like your technique of blogging.

    I saved it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back in the near future.
    Take a look at my website as well and let me
    know how you feel.

  9. Hello, i think that i saw you visited my blog thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find
    things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

  10. You can definitely see your skills within the work you write.
    The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you
    who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

  11. Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you
    amend your site, how could i subscribe for a weblog
    website? The account helped me a applicable deal.
    I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast
    offered shiny clear idea

  12. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see
    if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a
    youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and
    she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it
    with someone!

  13. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I
    am encountering troubles with your RSS. I don’t understand
    the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar RSS issues?

    Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond?

    Thanx!!

  14. I think that what you said was actually very logical. But,
    what about this? what if you added a little information? I am not saying your information is
    not solid, however what if you added a post title that makes
    people desire more? I mean Een derde kind | is kinda vanilla.
    You could look at Yahoo’s front page and watch
    how they write news titles to get viewers to click. You might try
    adding a video or a picture or two to get readers excited about what you’ve got to say.

    In my opinion, it might make your blog a little livelier.

  15. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to
    my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and
    screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.

    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this
    is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  16. you are really a just right webmaster. The site loading speed
    is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a wonderful task in this matter!

  17. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my
    iPad and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple
    ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  18. I blog frequently and I really appreciate your information. This great
    article has really peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your
    site and keep checking for new information about once a week.

    I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  19. Useful information. Fortunate me I found your site unintentionally,
    and I am stunned why this accident did not took place in advance!
    I bookmarked it.

  20. of course like your web-site however you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
    Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to
    find it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other
    hand I will surely come back again.

  21. Terrific work! That is the type of information that are meant to be
    shared around the internet. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this put up higher!
    Come on over and consult with my site . Thank you =)

  22. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after
    I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not
    writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  23. Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after
    browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.

    Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back frequently!

  24. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less.
    I’ve been using Movable-type on various websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform.
    I have heard fantastic things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  25. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.

    I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a
    famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  26. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

  27. Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It is the
    little changes that make the greatest changes.

    Thanks a lot for sharing!

  28. Wow, marvelous weblog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make running a blog look easy. The entire glance of your site is great, let alone
    the content material!

  29. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter
    to be really something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and very broad for me.

    I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of
    it!

  30. Hurrah! In the end I got a website from where I be capable of genuinely
    take useful facts regarding my study and knowledge.

  31. I am in fact pleased to read this weblog posts which consists of plenty of helpful data, thanks for providing these statistics.

  32. Hello! I’ve been following your web site for a while now and finally got the courage
    to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Tx! Just
    wanted to mention keep up the great work!

  33. Hi there, its nice piece of writing on the topic of media print, we all be
    aware of media is a impressive source of information.

  34. Amazing blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little
    lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress
    or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that
    I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any ideas? Bless you!

  35. Admiring the commitment you put into your site and in depth
    information you present. It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed information. Fantastic read!
    I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  36. I blog quite often and I seriously appreciate your information. Your article has really peaked my interest.
    I am going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week.

    I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  37. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has
    been conducting a little research on this. And he actually bought me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him…
    lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this
    topic here on your blog.

  38. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break.
    I love the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look
    when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, fantastic site!

  39. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is
    a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to
    read more of your useful information. Thanks for the
    post. I will certainly return.

  40. Hello, always i used to check web site posts here in the early hours in the break of
    day, for the reason that i enjoy to gain knowledge of
    more and more.

  41. Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you
    been blogging for? you made blogging look easy.
    The overall look of your site is excellent, let alone the content!

  42. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a
    amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?

  43. Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so
    I came to give it a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m
    bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Great blog and wonderful design.

  44. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked
    hard on. Any suggestions?

  45. It’s genuinely very complicated in this busy life to listen news on TV, thus I only use
    the web for that purpose, and take the most up-to-date information.

  46. I think the admin of this website is genuinely working hard for his website,
    since here every material is quality based stuff.

  47. I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but
    great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or
    understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  48. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thank you, However I am going through problems with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I am unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone else getting identical RSS issues?
    Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond?
    Thanx!!

  49. We’re a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
    Your website offered us with valuable info to work on. You have done a formidable job and our whole
    community will be thankful to you.

  50. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and
    I to find It really helpful & it helped me out a lot.
    I’m hoping to offer something back and help others such as you helped me.

  51. Great information. Lucky me I discovered your website by chance (stumbleupon).

    I’ve book marked it for later!

  52. I’m not sure exactly why but this website
    is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone
    else having this problem or is it a problem on my end?
    I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  53. Hi there this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting
    to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.

    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get
    advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  54. I’m curious to find out what blog system you are using?

    I’m having some minor security issues with my latest blog and I would like to find something more safeguarded.

    Do you have any recommendations?

  55. This is a great tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.
    Short but very precise information… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

  56. Hi there, I enjoy reading through your article.
    I wanted to write a little comment to support you.

  57. Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other websites?
    I have a blog based on the same topics you discuss and would
    love to have you share some stories/information. I know my audience would appreciate your work.
    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e
    mail.

  58. Just want to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness in your post is just excellent and i
    could assume you are an expert on this subject.
    Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

  59. Hello there! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this post to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  60. That is really attention-grabbing, You’re an overly skilled
    blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and stay up for seeking extra of your magnificent post.
    Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks

  61. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as
    well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it
    is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days.

  62. Pingback: tinder slut tumblr
  63. Pretty nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to
    mention that I have really enjoyed browsing your weblog posts.
    After all I’ll be subscribing in your feed and I am hoping you write once more very
    soon!

  64. Excellent article. Keep posting such kind of info on your blog.

    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hey there, You have performed a great job. I’ll
    definitely digg it and in my view recommend to my friends.

    I am confident they’ll be benefited from this
    web site.

  65. scoliosis
    Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of info on your blog.
    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hello there, You have done a fantastic job.
    I will definitely digg it and individually recommend to my friends.

    I’m confident they will be benefited from this site.
    scoliosis

  66. You really make it appear really easy together
    with your presentation but I in finding this topic to be
    really something that I believe I’d never understand.
    It seems too complex and very large for me. I’m having a look
    forward for your subsequent post, I will attempt to get the cling
    of it!

  67. Superb post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more
    on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a
    little bit more. Thank you!

  68. scoliosis
    This is a topic that’s close to my heart… Cheers!
    Exactly where are your contact details though? scoliosis

  69. scoliosis
    Thankfulness to my father who informed me on the topic of
    this webpage, this web site is really amazing. scoliosis

  70. scoliosis
    An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a
    friend who was doing a little homework on this.
    And he in fact bought me dinner due to the fact that I found
    it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanks for spending the time to talk about this
    topic here on your web site. scoliosis

  71. scoliosis
    It’s really a great and helpful piece of info.

    I’m happy that you just shared this useful info with us.
    Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
    scoliosis

  72. I need to to thank you for this very good read!!
    I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to look at
    new things you post…

  73. It’s genuinely very complex in this full of activity life to listen news on TV, therefore I just use internet for that purpose, and take the hottest news.

  74. scoliosis
    Having read this I believed it was very informative.
    I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this information together.
    I once again find myself personally spending way too much time both reading and commenting.
    But so what, it was still worth it! scoliosis

  75. scoliosis
    I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this
    website. I am hoping to see the same high-grade content by you later
    on as well. In truth, your creative writing
    abilities has inspired me to get my own website now 😉 scoliosis

  76. scoliosis
    You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think
    I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me.
    I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to
    get the hang of it! scoliosis

  77. scoliosis
    Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to “return the
    favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!
    scoliosis

  78. scoliosis
    Greetings, I do believe your web site might be
    having internet browser compatibility issues.

    Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, if
    opening in I.E., it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to
    provide you with a quick heads up! Aside from that, excellent site!
    scoliosis

  79. dating sites
    Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you
    can be a great author. I will make sure to bookmark your blog and will often come back at some point.
    I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great posts,
    have a nice evening! free dating sites

  80. I believe everything posted was actually very logical.
    However, consider this, suppose you were to write a killer post title?
    I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but suppose you added something to possibly grab a
    person’s attention? I mean Een derde kind | is a little boring.
    You should glance at Yahoo’s home page and note how they create news headlines to
    grab people to open the links. You might try adding a video or a picture or two to get people excited about what
    you’ve written. In my opinion, it could make your posts
    a little bit more interesting.

  81. Hi my friend! I wish to say that this article is
    amazing, great written and include approximately all vital infos.

    I’d like to look more posts like this .

  82. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and
    in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you
    access consistently rapidly.

  83. I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of
    house . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site.
    Reading this information So i’m glad to convey that I have
    a very good uncanny feeling I found out exactly what
    I needed. I most definitely will make sure to do not omit this
    site and provides it a look on a constant basis.

  84. When some one searches for his necessary thing, therefore he/she needs to be available that in detail,
    thus that thing is maintained over here.

  85. Hello, I desire to subscribe for this web site to get hottest updates,
    therefore where can i do it please help.

  86. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and the rest of
    the site is also really good.

  87. This article will assist the internet people for creating new website or
    even a weblog from start to end.

  88. I am sure this article has touched all the internet people,
    its really really nice paragraph on building up new blog.

  89. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?

    Thanks a lot!

  90. Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to mention that I’ve
    truly loved surfing around your weblog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing
    in your feed and I’m hoping you write once more soon!

  91. With havin so much written content do you ever run into
    any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of unique
    content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it
    up all over the internet without my agreement. Do you know any methods to
    help prevent content from being ripped off? I’d certainly appreciate it.

Reacties zijn gesloten.