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Dus iedereen heeft wel iets waar hij of zij zijn hele leven mee om moet gaan. Een deel van het lijf waarbij je echt niet tevreden bent. Voor mij is dit mijn gebit.

Ik heb namelijk issues. Ik hoor je al denken “Linda, popje, je hebt wel meerdere issues in het leven” En ja, je hebt gelijk. Ik heb er veel.

Alleen achter deze zit een verhaal. Erfelijk gezien hebben wij in de familie iets met ons glazuur. Ik kan naar iets zoets kijken en direct schieten de gaatjes al in mijn gebit. Ik heb altijd een fluoride spoeling nodig en al die andere speciale dingen alsof ik een kind ben van 10 jaar oud… maar hiernaast heb ik iets wonderlijks.

Ik ben 33 jaar oud en wissel nog steeds. Ik heb nog steeds geen “volwassen” hoektanden.

Dit kan door meerdere manieren gebeuren in iemands leven. Het is niet iets heel zeldzaams. Bij mij stamt deze afwijking waarschijnlijk voort uit fysiek trauma.

We gaan even terug in de tijd;

Als kind speelde ik altijd buiten. Ik was een jaar of 8 en op school hadden wij een nieuw klimtoestel gekregen. Een enorm groot ding met een glijbaan, een brandweerstang en andere stalen palen. Er was een stuk waarin 2 palen onder elkaar hingen. Hieraan kon je naar boven klimmen of aan de onderste zwaaien. Je ziet al waar dit naartoe gaat. Ja….ik ben “die” persoon.

In een ruwe bui was ik aan het klauteren en zwaaien. Ik dacht dat ik de onderste stand in mijn handen had toen ik naar beneden zwaaide met mijn lijf. Spoiler alert; Het was de bovenste stang.

Ik klapte met mijn mond op de onderste stand en toen ging het lampje uit. Ik werd wakker in het zand met een mond vol bloed. Ik was wazig maar toen kwam het besef dat ik geen tanden meer had aan de bovenkant van mijn gebit. AL MIJN TANDEN WAREN WEG.

Ik ben in paniek naar huis gerend en je kunt de doodsangst en paniek van mijn moeder voelen, toen haar dochter thuis kwam met een bleek gezicht onder het bloed, zonder bovenste tanden.

We zijn terug gegaan en hebben gekeken maar nergens waren mijn tanden te vinden. Niet in het zand, niet in mijn mond, mijn tanden waren weg.

Mijn moeder heeft mij met spoed naar onze tandarts gebracht en daar kwamen wij erachter dat mijn bovenste rij tanden terug geslagen waren in mijn tandvlees. Met tijd zouden ze er weer uit “ploppen” op een natuurlijke manier. Dat ik aan het wisselen was en dat het niet veel kwaad kon. Dit was trouwens een tandarts van de “oude stempel”

Ik kan mij niet veel herinneren van de pijn maar ik schijn veel pijn gehad te hebben. Uiteindelijk kwamen inderdaad mijn tanden terug. Alles leek verder peachy. Het enige wat ik eraan over leek te houden was een verkleuring in mijn volwassen voortand waar de zenuw is dood geslagen. Ik had geen gevoel meer in deze tanden.

Ik groeide op met een extreme angst voor de tandarts (bedankt “oude stempel” tandarts uit mijn jeugd) Daarnaast sinds de klap vind ik het ook vervelend als mensen in mijn mond bezig zijn. Ook het vlekje in mijn voortand maakt mij erg onzeker.

De jaren vlogen voorbij en in het begin van mijn twintiger jaren had ik continu gaatjes in mijn hoektanden. Ook waren ze extreem klein voor mijn leeftijd. Na weer eens een afspraak met de noodtandarts voor een gaatje kwam deze man ineens tot een conclusie “Dit zijn melktanden!”

Er werden foto’s gemaakt en inderdaad. Mijn volgroeide hoektanden zaten nog steeds vast in mijn gehemelte tussen mijn neus als het ware. De keuze werd gemaakt om mijn melk hoektanden te trekken en dan zouden in theorie mijn hoektanden door kunnen komen. Nu hadden deze geen ruimte om in mijn gebit te groeien.

Ik heb vanaf (ongeveer) mijn 23ste een paar jaar rondgelopen met twee gaten in mijn mond. Als mensen ernaar keken werd ik onzeker en vertelde ik dat ik nog aan het wisselen was. Ondertussen had ik ieder jaar ongeveer een maand vol “groeipijn” en dit is ongelofelijk naar. Mijn tanden proberen door te komen maar komen niet. Niets helpt tegen de pijn. Ik slik dan zware pijnstillers, drink drank om te slapen en kan bijna niet normaal functioneren.

Na een jaar waren er twee kleine puntjes zichtbaar in mijn gehemelte. Nog steeds kwamen ze niet goed door en ook zaten mijn nieuwe hoektanden niet op de goede plek. Ze komen gewoon niet. Ik was het zat. Ik was mentaal op. Ik liep al jaren onzeker rond met gaten in mijn mond, ik durfde niet vol te lachen en ik wilde niet meer. Er waren enkele opties.

Een operatie. Hierbij zouden ze mijn hoektanden eruit “bikken” en ik zou dan uiteindelijk implantaten kunnen krijgen. De operatie zou vergoed worden, je moet een paar weken helen en dan worden de implantaten niet vergoed. Die zijn duur. Naast de extreme angst voor de tandarts was dit geen optie. Daarnaast was de tandarts hier op tegen. Immers heb ik twee gezonde hoektanden die ik nog heel mijn leven kan gebruiken.

Een beugel. Mijn tandvlees wegsnijden tot de hoektanden bloot liggen en deze met behulp van een beugel eruit trekken op de goede plek. Dit werd niet vergoed door de verzekering omdat ze vonden dat het cosmetisch was. Enorm duur en niet betaalbaar op dat moment in de tijd.

Uiteindelijk kwam mijn tandarts met twee neptandjes die hij met een soort cement tussen mijn tanden plakte. Voor tijdelijk een prima optie. Ik knapte hier zichtbaar van op. Ik was enorm gelukkig op dat moment. Ik had tanden. Dit zou alleen geen blijvende oplossing zijn.

Ik kan namelijk niet tussen het cement poetsen waarmee ze bevestigd zijn maar hier kunnen wel bacteriën komen. Met andere woorden, eens in de 2 jaar vielen de tanden eruit vanwege gaatjes aan de andere tanden waardoor ze niet meer goed konden hechten. Iedere keer paniek omdat ik weer een gat in mijn mond had. Daarnaast had ik jaarlijks nog steeds die extreme pijn.

Waar het nu achteraf op neerkomt; ik heb gewoon een mentaal trauma hieraan over gehouden. De angst om met gaten rond te lopen in mijn mond door een gebrek aan tanden. Naast de angst voor de tandarts werkt dit allemaal niet mee.

Nu, anno 2019 zijn we op een punt waarbij er 1 tijdelijk tand al uitgevallen is. Ik ben 33 jaar en ik ben het zat. Ik wil ook graag een mooi volledig gebit. Ik heb dus niet het tandje opnieuw vast laten zetten.

Ik ga het proces in. Ik met mijn doodsangsten ga dit doen. Ik ga komend jaar naar de kaakchirurg en we gaan mijn “geretineerde elementen” vrijleggen.

We zijn jaren verder. Mijn tandarts en de orthodontist zeggen dat dit een medische noodzaak is. Geen cosmetische zaak. Ik heb mijn hoektanden nodig. Ik begin een lichte onderbeet te krijgen door het gebrek aan hoektanden omdat ik niet goed mijn tanden op elkaar kan zetten. Doen we niets dan zou ik in de toekomst ooit een kaakoperatie moeten krijgen. Daar zit ik al helemaal niet op te wachten. Ze willen beide een brief naar de verzekering sturen om met ze in gesprek te gaan. Volgens de artsen is dit een uitzondering en zou dit vergoed moeten worden. Als ze niet inspringen om mijn hoektanden eruit te “assisteren” zal ik ze nooit op de natuurlijk manier krijgen. Dat station is gepasseerd.

Ondertussen ga ik mij mentaal voorbereiden. Ik ben doodsbang. Niet voor het beugel stuk. Wel voor het blootleggen van de hoektanden. Alleen dit moet ik doen. Ik moet dit doen voor mijn eigen fysieke welzijn.

Mijn tandarts heeft tegenwoordig een psycholoog in de kliniek die werkt met angst patiënten. Als ik zeg dat ik bang ben, zit ik op een dusdanig punt dat voor specifieke behandelingen ik valium (diazepam) voorgeschreven krijg. Ik heb de afgelopen week mijn laatste verstandskies laten trekken en 3 gaatjes laten vullen. Ik kan dat niet zonder valium, fidgetspinner (omdat ik anders mijn handen tot bloedens kapot knijp) en muziek in mijn oren. Ook heb ik valium nodig voor de mondhygiëniste. Gaatjes vullen kan ik ondertussen zonder medicatie en dat is top. Met de psychologe ga ik ook wat gesprekken aan om te kijken of dit kan helpen. Baadt het niet, schaadt het niet maar ik zou graag van de angst af willen komen.

Hieronder een filpmje hoe ze bij mij de beide hoektanden zouden begeleiden naar buiten. Het is niet eng, er is geen bloed, het is een animatie.

bron

Daarnaast moet mijn oudste dochter volgend jaar ook een beugel. Nu kunnen we dit proces samen in. Een moeder en dochter ding. Ze is niet bang voor een beugel, ze wil het alleen niet. Hopelijk maakt dit ook voor haar het proces makkelijker.

Mijn kinderen zijn trouwens niet (meer) bang voor de tandarts en hun vader neemt ze mee zodat ze niet mijn angsten over kunnen nemen. Ze proberen juist mij minder bang te maken wat enorm aandoenlijk is.

Het enige positieve is dat ik een prima outfit heb voor Halloween 2020?

2020, het jaar dat ik hopelijk mijn hoektanden krijg en dat ik eindelijk uit “gewisseld” ben. Het jaar dat ik hopelijk een groot stuk onzekerheid in mijn leven te ruste kan leggen.

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